I often tell my
friends that I have no fear for the future. I never mean to sound arrogant or overly
confident in my ability, and I don’t doubt that I will find myself in difficult
situations throughout my life. The light at the end of the tunnel just burns
brightly, and I have no trouble seeing it.
My faith plays a
large part in my outlook. My favorite Bible verse, Joshua 1:9, says, “Have I not commanded thee? Be strong and of
a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God
is with thee whithersoever thou goest.” I think of it whenever I’m running low on
money, when I am having a hard time in a course, or when I’m just outright
confused on where I should be in my life. It isn’t hard for me to believe,
either. Even when I feel at odds with Christians, I can trust that God is with
me and directing my path. Why? Because He’s made it evident time and time again.
I’ve spent most of my life in a low-income, single parent household, and I’m at
Georgetown University, on my way to more success and happiness than I can even
fathom. I know that there must be a reason that God stays in my corner, pulling
me out of unpleasant situations., and that he is preparing me for whatever plan
He has for my life. Even if I someday find myself in a dark, cold apartment
eating instant noodles and watching a black and white battery-powered
television, I know that it will only be for a season, and I can be brought out
of it because it’s happened before, and here I am.
With all that
being said, I am a highly rational person. I’m not very spontaneous, and I
think through every single decision I make. By the time I let others know of my
plans, I’ve researched and considered every option and possibility countless
times. Fearlessness doesn’t come without calculation, and I still have to be
95% sure in my plans before I’m comfortable. For me, a leap of faith almost
always involves a series of tiny jumps.
Despite having
Plan A-Z already figured out, I’m never prepared for facing doubt from other
people. I know it shouldn’t, but it always offends me. It makes me feel like
the person questioning me doesn’t trust in my ability to make reasonable decisions.
One of the quickest ways to upset me is by implying something negative about my
intelligence or common sense. I usually recognize that my offense just comes
from a deep-rooted insecurity about my intelligence, but my first response is
always anger.
I want to make it
very clear that I understand that I don’t know anything, or much at all, about
life and the world around me. I’m also very open to the advice and opinions of
others. It’s just certain things that irk me. When people ask questions with
fear and doubt weaved through them, like, “You really think you can make it at
that math and science school?” or, “You ain’t scared a big city like Washington, D.C. is going to eat you up?” I question their faith in me, and that makes me uneasy. I
forget that other people cannot view issues through my eyes and with my
mindset, and they don’t understand how sure I am of my future and of the good
things ahead.
My advice for
anyone going out on a limb and facing doubt from others is simple and a bit
cliché. Trust in yourself and in your ability. Make a plan to stick to and a
backup, or a few, in case you stray. Do your research and have an idea of what
to expect. Keep a shield around you, so that the doubt of others doesn’t seep
into your mind. Understand that others usually mean you no harm when they question;
sometimes, they’re only projecting their own fears. Speak out to others who can
help you along the way, take care of yourself, and know when you need to step
back and reevaluate. I’ve talked before about how success doesn’t always come
on the first try, but as long as you try your hardest again and don’t lose
faith in yourself, you’re good. And if it seems like all you’re doing is trying
without success, keep going; you have no idea what blessings are around the
corner.
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