Failing to Achieve

Back in January, I set a goal to make straight A’s for the spring semester. After months of sitting outside my professors’ offices, pulling all-nighters, waking up early to be fully prepared for class, and working harder for school than I ever have before, I failed. When I checked my final grades, I saw two B’s that weren’t supposed to be there.

It wasn’t the first time I’d fallen short of my goals. During my first semester at Georgetown, I tried out for the cheerleading squad and stood shocked when my number wasn’t called after waiting in the gym for hours. Earlier this semester, I sought out a board position for a campus organization I loved and received an email telling me that I wouldn’t be on the board after all. Long story short, I’m familiar with not reaching goals. Still, that doesn’t make it suck any less.

I think my response always starts out the same—with excuses. I wonder what went wrong in my life to prevent me from achieving something I set out to do. This school year I had two jobs that took up a lot of time in my week. I was probably involved in too many organizations, as well. That stuff doesn’t matter, though, because at the end of the day I decided to take them on, and I had the choice all along the way to drop things and resign positions. But I liked being able to say I held such-and-such position in blah-blah-blah club, so I sacrificed my academics for a little glory.

After running through the ways the universe was out to get me, I start seriously thinking about things that I did wrong. Instead of reaching out for help from my professors or my classmates, I suffered in silence a lot, so I wouldn’t look “stupid” or “dumb.” I also spent too much time wasting energy outside of class, so when I finally got some down time, I just wanted to watch Netflix or nap rather than study. There were also a few assignments I threw together the night before because I didn’t have time to prepare the way I should have because (see above) I spent too much energy and time on things other than class.

At the end of the day, I’m still very proud of myself. I crossed horizons and reached new limits I haven’t seen since arriving at Georgetown. I made the Dean’s List for the first time, and my GPA has only climbed since my first semester. I’ve also learned more about taking care of myself physically and mentally, which I believe is much more important than a transcript. I’ve identified what I did well this semester and what I could use some improvement on. Each semester I learn a little bit more about success and I get closer and closer to reaching it. For me, it isn’t about reaching a certain GPA. It’s about growth and progress, and if I have that along with some meaningful lessons, I’m good. Obviously, I still have that goal of making straight A’s, but even if I never get that, I know what hard work looks like and what it takes to reach a goal.